Math Club!
I have a story about some happenings a while ago, which shook the foundations of my existence! Ok, so perhaps that’s a little bit extreme, but it certainly did open my eyes to the grim reality of people’s misguided opinions of math. Well, it all started on Tuesday February 24, 2004 at one of my favorite places, math table. For the record, math table is a lunch meeting at noon at Kittredge where anybody interested in math gather together to talk about random topic, usually not math related. We are NOT a bunch of dorks, and it IS a lot of fun! That should clear up a ton of confusion that almost everybody has had. Anyways, while I was enjoying my meal, I was requested by a fellow math fan if I would help get people to sign up for math club. Well, since I love math so much, and I want everybody else to realize that they love it just as much, I saw this as the perfect opportunity. Well, that Friday strolls around, so I take extra time to prepare myself, carefully choosing to wear my math shirt and… ok, well that’s all I did to get ready, and I didn’t really need any extra time. When it’s finally lunch time, I meet at the student center. I came totally prepared. I had an extra pack of 200 sheets of paper for people to sign up on, since there would be so many people interested in math club, I figured I needed a lot. I also had a lot of pens. I figured after a couple minutes of constant use by the massive swarm of students anxious to sign up, we might need to get out a few more pens. Finally, I had my water bottle full and ready to go, since I’d have to explain to everybody that despite the hundreds of other people trying to sign up, they too could join. I got there around noon, and we had the location reserved from 11:00-1:00, so I naturally assumed that there would be a couple hundred people signed up already. Much to my dismay… there weren’t quite that many names. In fact, there were only two names on the list after an hour of recruiting. I was baffled. Furthermore, I could barely tell it was the math club since there were no signs or anything! Well that had to change, and change it did. When more support came, we got more signs with humorous and witty expressions such as, “Don’t be a square!” Ok, for the record, there was one sign that I actually did enjoy. It had integral of e raised to the x power set equal to integral of u raised to the n power. For those who know what that is, they simply assume an unnecessary u substitution, which actually makes it more complicated. However, somebody who doesn’t know math would look at it and see it visually for its true beauty. Write it out and you’ll understand. Or, if you’d rather, give me a call and stop by, and I can give you a good… uh… ‘in depth’ example, explaining how true it is, hehehe.

Back to the story. We had all of these wonderful signs set up, and I was on the edge of my seat, ready to escape if a riot broke out due to the overwhelming number of people wanting to sign up. Five minutes later I realized something was wrong. There had to be some catastrophe or something. I started asking people what happened, and they were confused, and then reassured me that nothing of the sort had happened. And then it happened. I asked a fellow student as they walked by if they’d be interested in joining math club, and then I heard it. “I don’t like math.” The 4-5 words that changed my life. I stood there with a dazed and bewildered expression as they walked by, without even turning back. Once they were gone, I quickly, and naively dismissed it, understanding that they were crazy. Then a group of people walked by. A perfect opportunity. When I asked them if they wanted to join, I got a few laughs, and then they gave me something else. What they gave me would appear to be nothing to the normal person, but it had the potential to be the most powerful weapon known to man. They gave me the realization that not too many people actually like math. Shocked, appalled, and rejected, I returned to my seat to revise my tactics. Instead of going after everybody who walked by, which would be everybody who wanted to eat, I would target certain, specific individuals. Personally, I hate it when people pressure me into doing stuff like that. I always feel so bad when I tell them that I might not be the best representative for a 48 hour fast to support feminism, not that I’m opposed to feminism at all, I just wouldn’t do anything that extreme. I targeted people, knowing that they probably felt just as awful as I do when I am targeted. I am not proud of what I did. I admit, it was a moment of weakness. A time when desperate times called for desperate measures. We needed people for math club, and we only had three, since I signed up when I got there. Things got so desperate that I even pulled out my electric lime and blue markers for people to sign up with, because who doesn’t love markers. It’s a nice reminder of the younger days, and it appeals to the kid inside people. This also did not work, since I was the only person who used them. However, while that didn’t work, I was able to get a few people to sign up. These people were mostly friends, people I knew, and people who showed pity because they were too nice to leave me there rejected. So very slowly, we began accumulating signatures, and our math club began to grow. This was of course, now without the occasional comment of, “Losers!” There wasn’t even a cough to try to hide it. That’s how disrespectful some individuals named Sam Almy can be (However, later that night, he clarified that he was only kidding, it’s all good).

From what I observed of the people who indeed did sign up, was that there were a few different categories of participants. There were the people who were genuinely interested in math, which I feel amounted to approximately 6 signatures. These people are the kind of people we are looking for. People who love math, and actually want to be in math club for the math aspect of it. The next group of people are those who aren’t interested in math. This is pretty much the rest of the people, so about 14 signatures. This, however, is too vague to leave as it is, so we must subdivide further. One subdivision that can be made are those interested in only the activities associated with math club. This include Taylor bowl, movies, and anything else non math related that they can get for free if they join math club. This constitutes around 6 signatures. Another subdivision that can be made from this group of non math lovers are those who are simply too nice to refuse. While they may not be the most ideal members, they certainly are appreciated for their kindness. They are the people who make math club enjoyable, so they are happily welcomed into our marvelous club This is about 5 of our math club members. Yet another subdivision are for those who signed up merely as a joke. We certainly do not think it is funny, since they are essentially mocking math, thus my life. Even worse is the fact that the 3 people who fall into this category are my friends (You know who you are… don’t try to hide it). I feel like a police chief who’s son was just arrested. I’m put in quite a tough situation. Fortunately, I have found out that it’s not all bad. While they do mock math, their enthusiasm for mocking math diffuses into the subject of math itself. Therefore, while they do mock math, they are so enthusiastic that they come up with great ideas. While explaining what mods are (as mentioned in previous blog entry), they came up with the brilliant idea of forming the “mod squad!” Therefore, this group also is not bad, and we are also happy to have them as well. Finally, our last subdivision leads to the worst group of them all. Since their biological identity is still in question, especially with regards to if they are even human are not, I have given them the scientific name Arithmophobia numerophobius. The name says it all. These are those creatures out there who not only dislike math, but they fear numbers themselves. These are not necessarily the ideal math club members, so we stalk them and hunt them down in the middle of the night and we start breaking some bones. Ok, well, we don’t actually do that. They’re just not the ideal members. This is perhaps the reason why there aren’t any in this group who signed up for math club… at least, not anymore. As you can see, especially from that last group, classifying math club members is much like classifying organisms. It is quite difficult and requires attention to many details. It is an art form that is constantly changing.

As you have probably concluded by your power of addition, by the end of that hour, we had managed to hook about 20 people in for math club. While it was dramatic, and almost devastating, in the end, I was able to cope with the difficulties presented in this endeavor, and accomplish my goal of the day. That goal was the recruit people for math club. I saw math’s place in society, and however grim it might be. However hopeless it may seem, know this: I will always be out there, fighting for numbers. Fighting for algebra. Fighting… for math!

The Birth of a Screen Name
Again, this was originally meant as an email to all math majors. We were swapping email addresses, and one of our professors, who shall remain anonymous (to protect the innocent) told us his middle-earth name, and gave us a link to find out what ours are. So, like before, just ignore the fact that the first part doesn’t really make much sense. And be warned, this blog is rather pointless.

Howdy all (again). Now don't worry, this isn't another pointless email. I forget who got the whole screen names thing started, but I think it's a wonderful idea. I once had a section of my buddy list titled Math Freaks, but deleted it due to lack of members (not that you're math freak or anything, but we're all math folk, thus the math majors list serve). Anyways, my screen name is badhair17. As for middle earth names and stuff like that, well I never even thought of having one, but after visiting the site, I apparently have quite a few (though none are good enough to turn me away from waht I already use). For those of you who are curios, what I got was:

Middle-earth: Revered Spirit
Elven names: thinuial, or the more masculine, thinuialion
Hobbit name: Merimac Hill from Brockenborings
Dwarven Name: Frerin Bronzebrow
Orkish Name: Skarklâsh the Odiferous
Adûnaic name: Kalabâda

Ok, and for the record, I’m not a geek, I was just really bored. Anyways, back to my 'online alias'. Yeah, when I was younger, my hair was a lot longer, and rarely neat... it was like every day was a bad hair day. Lets just say in fifth grade, they started a fund to get me a comb… and it got quite a bit of money in it. Yeah, I can’t really explain how awful my hair was… no words will do proper justice. Well, way back when... we got aol, and I opted for badhairday to be my screen name. I know at this point you're probably worried that I've lost my mind since I told you all it was badhair17, but don't worry. Badhairday was taken by some mayor or governor of some state out west I think... I don't know. In anycase, I wanted to emphasize the 'bad hair' but I think there some character restriction or something, so I dropped the 'day' part and smacked on a number. Well, I know you're all in suspense, trying to figure out, "why 17?" There are many different possible ideas of the origin of the part of my screen name. Possibly the most common hypothesis is it has to do with my birthday. For those people who guess that I was born in 1917, you're all a bunch of morons. 1985... way off. I don't even know what you were thinking... 1917? pathetic! I suppose there might be a few people out there who think that I was born on the 17th month. Again, you're stupid. However, it is important to note when dealing with months, it is quite possible they were talking about mod 12 (gotta love math), in which case it would be the 5th month. If that were the case, things would be quite different, and they would not be considered stupid at all! In fact, I’d be quite impressed! They had managed to come within one month of my birthday of June. However close they may be… still wrong. Finally, we get to the good stuff. Quite a good hypothesis of me being born on the 17th day is also wrong, I am sorry to say. Well this is like going through a maze and hitting every dead end that comes from the beginning junction. We’re back at the beginning, and the only progress made was eliminating one possibility. Next guess. I’m 17 years old. Well this is wrong for a number of reasons. First of all, I started off my saying “way back when….” One year isn’t “way back when” when talking about us first getting aol, so that’s not it. I might’ve been planning ahead. Well why didn’t I plan for when I’ll be 19, or 20? If I had done that, I would’ve put the oldest age I will be, thus ending things on a good note of my screen name having my age. Wow, that would add so much to my life. However, by then I’ll probably be bald, and the rest of my screen name won’t apply. Finally, we get to the good stuff. Numbers themselves. The title of this blog is math man prophecies, so there must be something mathematical about it. Well, the problem is, from what I knew about numbers at the time, I couldn’t do any of the really cool stuff with them. So I knew 17 was odd and prime, and that’s about it. I certainly isn’t the number that I feel is coolest. And my lucky number is 49 (which is one of the coolest numbers. The number and each of the digits are all perfect squares… I haven’t looked enough at 3 or higher digit numbers, so I stick with 49). So now, after all of this buildup, I will finally tell you the secret to my screen name. The truth behind the riddle. The real meaning of the 17. It was actually a combination of two elements. First of all, at the time, the number I was fond of was 17 (I hadn’t discovered the beauty of 49 yet). The other source of that number was by random selection. I just said the first number that come to my head. I’m sure there might be some sort of relationships between me coming up with that number first and feeling that it’s a cool number, but I’m a math major… not a psychology major. Perhaps sometime I will share the origin of my lesser known online alias, which shall remain anonymous to build suspense. Some of you may already know, but it is quite a story.